3rd day of the Waiting Hand in the year 10,161 CA

Well my rence book, it seems I have made a grave error in my pursuit of happiness. So much has happened since my courtship with Callie and the tournament. An envar has passed and after telling myself I have closed myself off from the thought of companionship, I met Tayanna Gillian.

Swiftly, things progressed and without thinking, (which normally I do, this time I did not think) I was swept up in the beauty of happiness. And for a glorious few ehn, I was truly happy. Then came the night of her family emergency, she was whisked away by needs of her family and her true colors have shown. Oh, she speaks wonderful, very pleasant words and she appears to paint herself as a beacon in my world....but she is deceitful in her camouflage.

She drops two heavy items on my plate....a family emergency, whatever family emergency (its not even clear exactly what type of emergency) only that her mother has fallen gravely ill, in very critical condition. Then she tells me she is with child and when I expressed to her that I wished for her to remain in Lydius until at least she can meet with a physician to make sure she was fit for travel, she refused, she denied my care for her and my heir. She assured me that Claire was accurate in her test but Claire has no knowledge of a test being performed, no documents to prove the test was done. Then Tay left my office to go pack, when I asked if she required my help she said she was only taking what she needed to travel...I never heard from her again after that dramatic tear-filled night.

So I decided to go to Thentis myself but nobody had even seen her, they couldn't even lead me to her, hadn't even heard of a family crisis so I left Thentis only to return to Lydius confused and irritated. Then I saw her scroll, that she had arrived, where was she if she was with her family, why did they not know about her arrival and her family's emergency? So I returned her scroll, and then she responded as well with an oddness that only left me further irritated and confused, showing her true colors and perhaps a reason why she left as she did.

In her scroll first of all, she claimed that her guards and family would have led me straight away to her and they did not, she claims that she took her medical records with her and that is why Claire has no record. Now I may have been born at night but it was not last night! Claire would not allow records to be taken, copies maybe but Claire told me she did not perform a test, she looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Tay is studying to be a physician, she should know these things. Then she blurted out something about dishonorable acts that I told her that Callie has done. I have no idea what that means, the only time that Callie came into our conversation ever was when she let me know she was leaving for Cos and I made a comment about her leaving to visit friends. But I see no dishonor in visiting friends. My guess is that Tay has issue with Callie that I am unaware.

But what truly bothered me was the fact that she dissed me by saying I am being influenced by another that has left Lydius. The only one I am aware that Tay knows that has left Lydius is Callie. She mentioned something about her return to Lydius to give me reason to be upset with Tay. That is a complete falsehood and a question to my honor. And she didnt even mention her by name but I knew perfectly well who she spoke of. First of all Callie is not back from Cos, she came in to the city on the request of Marcus Stone to renew vows and surprise his companion. (Tay would not know if anyone was back in Lydius, Tay is NOT in Lydius she is in Thentis so that is OOC knowledge that either she's assuming or someone is feeding her assumptions) She will be leaving for Cos in the morning. I do not let anyone influence me in anyway and for Tay to even make such a comment to me is an insult plain and simple.

I am upset with Tay for what Tay has done...not because I am influenced by anyone else. For her disregard of my wishes and my feelings, disregard for my want of her to have proper care for her and my heir, she left against my wishes, I asked her to stay to give me time and then mostly the question of my ability to think for myself. I am seen in her eyes as weak and being influenced by others. The deepest cut of them all (Tay and her mun are now on complete ignore by me for crossing and taking things told to her OOC into IC and that is the last straw, Taymun).

I have some decisions I need to make and ones that I will ask Odin for guidance, to make these decisions honorably because I do not do things otherwise. But I will be taking up several legal issues with my high counsel....I need their advice. For now my journal, I will try and sleep.